There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Operation Purity has been aborted
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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