so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
