so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
