I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just high enough for therapy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
