even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
