So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
