You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
zippers are such a cool invention
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize