I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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