My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize