True but thats because hes a fetus.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I think I just sharted jello shots
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