Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
