Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
