dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
