i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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