I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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