This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
