He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
