Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
