nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
