The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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