did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
