a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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