Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
