Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
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I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
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Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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