GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
