Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
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