Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize