Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
