margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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