That's when you crack a 10am beer
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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