Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
