The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
