yea but for you.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
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Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
two words...techno handjob
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
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listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky