If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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