You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones