DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
