He felt like a one man threesome
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude