I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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