party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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