I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
