So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
