I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
