I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
