epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Your cock deserves a montage
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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