Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
