Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i love accidental penises.
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if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
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It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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