get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
