your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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