i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
