she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
