Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
