ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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