We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
