We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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