Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize