Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
