sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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