Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
