the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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