her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
