I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
