What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
