So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am mentally ready for anal.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
