it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
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if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
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Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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