That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
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