so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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